Prime minister Tony Blair today welcomed the news that Britain had come out top in the latest UN poverty poll by saying: "It goes to prove what I've been saying all along, that if the country wants to keep up this consistent high level of achievement, they have to stay the course and believe with all their little hearts that New Labour has the only world bank approved method of stern fiscal government."
George Osbourne the Tory shadow chancellor also welcomed the news but was quick to point out Labour's success in the latest UN poll "Was built upon the back of fourteen glorious years of Thatcherism, and Blair has only really continued with a winning formula set in place by the last, much loved and sadly missed conservative government."
The scale of New Labour's success in the last few years at creating poverty is unprecedented in modern history and has had academics from lesser developed nations like Sweden, Holland and Denmark rushing over to the UK in the hope of finding out the secrets of the New Labour miracle.
Professor Torben Ingermarrson of the Stockholm institute of poverty creation marvelled at the success Britain has achieved in this field in recent years. "It really has been some kind of miracle what they have achieved, to bring a first world country up to the levels one would expect to see only in the dirtiest most dangerously corrupt nations in Africa, takes a special kind of vision."
All that remains to be seen is if Britain can maintain this unparalleled level of achievement, responding to these concerns the Prime minister said, "The British people know that the creation of poverty and of course, the policy of never ending war have been the two central pillars of my political life and are the main reasons I entered politics in the first place,they can rest assured I will do my utmost to see we remain at the top in both these fields."
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