Thursday 10 May 2007

Pentagon calls up the Giraffes

Washington D.C- In another sign that Washington's war on terror isn't going quite as planned, the pentagon has been forced to call up 250 reserve giraffes normally based in sleepy Savannah, Georgia.

The giraffes will be sent to Iraq within the month and are expected to be used for reconnaissance and intelligence gathering within the Iraqi capital.
General Leigh Van Camp of the pentagon's specialist warfare division announced the planned deployment to reporters earlier today by saying "I would like to announce to you good folks here today that Savannah Georgia's world Famous fighting G squad will be deploying within the next few weeks to the fine city of Baghdad to assist our freedom loving troops in the fierce urban combat they are currently engaged in around the liberated city."

The call up of the 250 giraffes is seen in some quarters a desperate measure but this idea was strongly rejected by General Van Camp who insisted that it had always in the Pentagons plans to send the army's tallest warriors to Iraq at some point during the current turmoil.

The army are believed to use the giraffes as forward observers and as an integral part of the Pentagons "shock and awe" tactics.
As General Van Camp later stated the giraffes have the ability to see over high fences and most large buildings into the nearby streets giving US troops a crucial advantage against the freedom hating insurgents plaguing the liberated streets of Baghdad.

Giraffes have a long and glorious history in the United states army and were first used in the second world war during the famous Normandy landings.
The giraffes were used to attack the built up German positions by using their extraordinarily long tongues to place explosive charges into the narrow gun slots of the Nazi bunkers.
This tactic proved spectacularly effective and was said to have saved many lives in the bitter quest for European freedom.

It remains to be seen if this latest pentagon gamble will pay off or be yet another tragic mistake to add to the list of things entitled "How not to win friends and influence people"

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