Sunday, 29 April 2007

SAS move in to clear way for Harry

London- The ministry of defence declared earlier today that Britain's favourite Nazi prince will definitely be serving with his regiment, the Blues and royals, in the British section of the quagmire known as Iraq.

Prince Harry Von Windsor, son of the late princess Diana and her ginger riding instructor Major James "big one for the ladies" Hewitt, has recently declared he would immediately quit the army if not allowed to participate in the wholesale massacre of brown people currently taking place within Iraq.

Whitehall officials have been feverishly working on the problem since Prince Harry declared to the press "One can't wait to get over there and shoot a few sand niggers."
The preferred option would have been to place Harry in a heavily fortified camp and use available British forces to surround and protect the "Rourke's drift" type compound from the inevitable 24/7 attacks this would engender.

Prince Harry was said to have been furious when he heard of the "Rourke's drift" plan and allegedly stormed into the Prime ministers office and threatened to reveal details of his families notorious war time Nazi connections unless he was allowed to "Torture some wogs with the rest of the chaps"
Having forced the Prime ministers hand operation "Royal visit" was quickly formulated, the early stages of which are now under way in the British Basra section of the ongoing turmoil.

Operation "Royal visit" calls for six four man SAS teams to clear an area of Basra a mile square and, after mining the perimeter, set up round the clock surveillance of the area while teams of Royal engineers construct a small palace in preparation for the princes arrival.
After the "Hero" Prince arrives it will be the SAS's job to ensure that Harry fulfills his ambition of "Killing at least three darkies" and making sure the prince is not captured or shot by terrified Americans.

Three Hercules Transport planes have already arrived in Basra filled with some of the Prince's essential kit including such necessities as, 1000 crates of Bollinger, 2 cases of Beluga, 3 cases of Foie gras, an Xbox 360, 2 polo ponies, and a vast DVD collection.
The ministry of defence have declared themselves to be "delighted" that His royal highness has decided to join the oilacaust and have promised that Field marshal Harry Von Windsor will be treated like any normal soldier.

Troops already serving out in Iraq have been clamouring to serve alongside the Prince as its seen as the best way to get home intact and without the aid of a body bag.
One soldier just back from the carnage told me "We are right proud that the prince would even consider coming out there and giving us a hand, I'm sure with a bit of Royal input we will be able to sort the situation out within a few weeks. God bless him!"

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