Iran frees British sailor

Tehran- Herbert Gumthorpe has been a sailing enthusiast for most of his adult life, but his recent detention by Iran's revolutionary guard is making him rethink his innocent hobby.

Mr Gumthorpe a retired accountant from Telford fell into the hands of the Iranians late last week after being blown off course on what was supposed to be a day trip round the Isle of Wight.

Mr Gumthorpe having lost all radio contact and navigation equipment failed to realise he had strayed into Iranian waters until his twenty foot pleasure craft "The Tiddler" was stopped and boarded by over thirty swarthy men in full combat apparel.

Speaking to me yesterday afternoon from his bungalow in Telford Mr Gumthorpe said "I'm an experienced sailor and have seen the sea in all its moods from playful kitten to foul temptress of the deep, but this Iranian thing has really made me rethink my hobby."

When asked how he ended up so far off course Mr Gumthorpe said "Well any sailor will tell you the currents off the Isle of Wight are some of the strongest in the world and I only realised I was so far off course when the weather changed to a steady 104 degrees in the shade, and I thought to my self, that's not normal for the south coast in April."

The Iranians for their part are said to be extremely embarrassed by the incident but have stated that it is not the first time westerners have ventured into their territorial waters looking for a causus belli.

The Iranian foreign minister has formally apologised to Mr Gumthorpe for the full cavity search and electrical interrogation he endured and has extended an invitation for him to visit Tehran as a guest of the Iranian people.

Mr Gumthorpe told me "If they think I'm ever going back there they are sadly mistaken! One of the blighters put his finger in me, said he was looking for radio transmitters, I said, I don't know where you keep yours matey, but I certainly don't keep mine up there!"

What effect this latest clash between Iran and the west will have on the deteriorating political situation is unclear but some in Westminster and Washington are already citing the "Gumthorpe incident" as evidence of Tehran's lust for war against the peace loving English speaking peoples of the world.