Sunday 22 July 2007

Merkel denies titty snaps

Berlin-The Germans are not usually known as a people prone to prudish behaviour and hysteria but the latest political storm to hit Berlin is going a long way to prove those national stereotypes wrong.
Angela Merkel, the German chancellor and head of the ruling CDU party, has sensationally moved to deny claims that topless photographs printed in the popular German news magazine Der Speigel are in fact her.

In a terse statement issued from the Chancellor's office this morning Mrs Merkel said "I can categorically state that those reprehensible photographs purporting to show both my nipples and a tuft of pubic hair are a crude fabrication and I can confirm that I have instructed my lawyers to look into this whole sordid episode."

Dieter Graumann, spokesman for Der Speigel told me earlier today that the magazine stands by its decision to print the photographs and suggests Germany's first female chancellor should be flattered people would want to see her breasts "I don't see what all the fuss is about and why she would want to deny it. The photos are definitely her and seem to have been taken in a multi storey carpark in Hamburg sometime in the late seventies.
They are very tasteful and mostly show the chancellor cupping her large breasts and licking her lips. I could see why she would be upset if they were full on porno, with her spreading her long pussy lips and showing the pink, but to my mind they are very tasteful shots. The one with her licking her pierced nipple is my favourite."

The row looks set to rumble on for a while yet with further denials from Merkel only adding to the prurient nature of the story.
Marcus Hanne an old boyfriend rolled out by the chancellor's office to deny the story only titillated the press further when he declared "Those photo's are definitely not Angie baby, I was her hot sex lover for six years and I can confirm that the chancellor has never had pubic hair due to a rare form of pubic aloepecia, also she does not have her nipples pierced.
She used to say only sluts, whores and American girls had their nipples pierced and was quite content with just her clitoral piercing."

The Chancellor is due to broadcast a live interview on German television next week to absolutely refute the claims but with the situation now approaching critical mass, many feel only the full disclosure of both breasts and a quick flash of the Chancellor's minge will quell the raging media storm.

No comments: