Edible animal found in Paris!

Paris- Confusion reigns in the French capital tonight as the shocking news that an edible animal, that does not appear to be on any menu, was found within the city limits.

Early reports emanating from the French capital appear to suggest the animal is some sort of delicious quadruped.The as yet unnamed beast was apparently spotted, late yesterday afternoon, wandering unbasted among the flower beds of the Tuilleries gardens in the centre of the city.

The shocking spectacle soon drew a crowd of curious Parisians who stared in wonder at the unknown ingredient and argued amongst themselves wether it should be fried in garlic or roasted with thyme.

Officers from the capitals elite ingrédient mystérieux squadsoon arrived on the scene and took the beast into culinary custody.The animal is now being held in the main detention kitchen deep in the bowels of city hall; while a team of specially trained chefs rub herbs on it's back and decide the correct way to cook the beast.

The mysterious appearance of the animal has shocked the usually stoic Parisians and the issue is quickly turning into a political scandal.

As one outraged resident furiously told me "Zut alors! zis is unthinkable!! How can it not be on any menu? I blame Chirac he is too busy making fuck with pretty girls no? He don't care that we have some sort of a unknown ingredient wandering around the city. It's a day of shame and a day I hoped never to see."

The government have been quick to assure Parisians that they are working hard looking for suitable recipes for the mysterious animal and will endeavour to keep people informed of the ongoing situation.

Colonel Sanders finally promoted!

There was joy unconfined today on the streets of Kentucky's largest city as news of the states most famous resident's promotion to General leaked out.

Early this morning in a specially arranged news conference, Major Ed O'Hanlon, CEO and largest share holder of the world's most famous chicken outlet, proclaimed to the world's waiting media that he was finally in a position to promote the long serving Colonel to the rank of general.
The colonel a long time standard bearer for the Pentagon's fast food division, was said by O'Hanlon to be "delighted" by the news.

The colonel's remarkable rise up through the ranks began in the darkest days of world war two after he joined a secret US Army catering unit, that was charged with taking fast food behind enemy lines, in the hope of showing German soldiers the folly of their fascist ways and luring them by means of delicious and addictive recipes onto the sometimes twisty path of democracy.
For his success during the war the colonel was decorated by President Truman, who declared the southern gentleman, "One of the main reasons the light of democracy still shines in a battered world."

After the war the Colonel was asked by the Pentagon to carry on his work in the food warfare division and help to defeat the soviet menace. The colonel did this willingly and soon built up his chicken empire into one of the worlds major causes of obesity.
Throughout his life promoting freedom and delicious chicken flavoured meals, the Colonel has remained a shy and reclusive public figure only ever venturing from his modest Louisville home to buy cigarettes and milk at the local store.

Although no public pronouncements have been forthcoming from the new general, the Mayor of Louisville summed up the general delight in the city when he proclaimed "It's about finger lickin,time!"